I’m a Broken Person, and the Chipped Places are Exposed

15 Apr

I dropped my favorite large cooking spoon today, and the ceramic handle broke.  I started to throw it away, but realized later that I can simply superglue the broken piece on.  It’s completely salvageable, though it will always have a missing piece that chipped of.  It occurred to me tonight that I’m like that spoon.

Cover of "A Walk to Remember"

Cover of A Walk to Remember

I was broken at a very young age.  A victim of sexual abuse as a pre-schooler, at the hands of an uncle, I seem to be even more deeply affected by the rejection of my mother.  She was a delightful person and a lot of fun to be around, but she and I couldn’t be more different.  I was like one of those barn animals that the mother rejects and someone else has to take care of it.

Thank the good Lord for the fact that my dad was an absolutely amazing person and perhaps the world’s best dad.  He died at the age of 45, and I still miss him like crazy.

The reason I’m thinking about how broken I am is because I watched a movie today called “A Walk to Remember.”  There’s a teenager in the movie who lives a devout, sincere life.  She knows she is loved and is confident in herself in a way that I haven’t been since my very young days, when I was a real toot (in a good way).  The character is also confident in God.

Watching the show simply reminded me that I hope someday to have that self-assurance that comes not from pride but from knowing with full assurance that I am as worthy of being loved as everyone else.  I’m God-confident but not as self-confident as I know I’d be if that chip wasn’t missing.

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12 Responses to “I’m a Broken Person, and the Chipped Places are Exposed”

  1. terry1954 April 15, 2012 at 1:49 pm #

    sounds like a good movie

    Like

  2. GodGirl April 16, 2012 at 4:10 am #

    I’m so sorry to hear about what you’ve been through – just heartbreaking. Praying that you would discover a confidence you never thought you’d have, in your worth, beauty and the value of your contribution to the world. Knowing that you are treasured, priceless and doted on by your Heavenly Father. He believes in you, the supreme value of what you have to offer, and just who you are.

    Like

    • Stevie McHugh April 16, 2012 at 12:08 pm #

      Your words of compassion are like a hug from heaven. Thank you so much. After reading your note, I read a devotional that reminded about how God pretty much always uses broken things. So I’m thoroughly encouraged and uplifted this morning. Blessings to you, too. 🙂

      Like

      • GodGirl April 16, 2012 at 10:45 pm #

        That’s awesome you felt doubly encouraged 🙂 I love that he speaks through, and to, broken vessels 🙂 He is amazing, may you rest in his arms of love today. He thinks you’re amazing and has a wonderful plan for you!

        Like

  3. Maddie April 16, 2012 at 4:33 pm #

    Like

  4. Vince Chough April 17, 2012 at 4:10 pm #

    Stevie – this is Christlikeness. Broken but never abandoned by the Father.

    Like

  5. ryanhargett April 21, 2012 at 11:38 pm #

    “Then I went down to the potter’s house, and, behold, he wrought a work on the wheels.s4 And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter: so he made it again another vessel, as seemed good to the potter to make it.” – Jeremiah 18:3, 4
    I am glad to see that in spite of that you are trying to do God’s will and be what He wants you to be.

    Like

    • Stevie McHugh April 21, 2012 at 11:48 pm #

      Thank you, and thanks for telling me what the heart symbol. Very thoughtful of you!

      Like

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